Apprehension and the Phenomenology of Anticipation.

Interior with Young Woman Seen from the Back is an oil-on-canvas painting from c. 1903–04 by the Danish artist Vilhelm Hammershøi.

Phenomenology, the study of experience as it is subjectively lived. Conciousness, perception, emotion - what guides our pen as we write? To what end do we persist? What imprint does it leave upon us, both writer & reader alike? What right do I have to shape perception into words? How hair raising will the event be, colliding narratives with the world? Liberosis. When will it cease to matter?

Eyes to see, ears to hear, and skin to feel the brunt wind as the cold envelops me. If my words became bounded, would their echo be caught with comprehension or held for a brief moment then discarded into the abysm. Can I hide behind sesquipedalianism? Is my nature dimunitive enough to blend seamlessly between the lines of what is and what was without catching the eye wishing to dissect it with assessment? I yearn to be comprehended, yet find myself petrified to tender myself upward for sanction.

Within the trees I find myself, grazing each aged bole as I pass. I bring my worries, apprehension, and regard - letting each plunge from my consciousness with each step forward. If I look behind me, I yearn to retrace my steps leading home. If I look ahead, I find myself consumed with trepidation. I halt, I inquire, and inevitably return to safety. What would it take to interrupt this repetition?

With the coming day I will proceed, but for today I am not without fear.