Abstract Expressionism

"Abstract painting is abstract. It confronts you. There was a reviewer a while back who wrote that my pictures didn't have any beginning or end. He didn't mean it as a compliment. But it was." - Jackson Pollock

Work painted by Robert Williams, "Symbolic Mediocrity" (2007).

In the wise words of Marshall McLuhan, "We become what we behold. We shape our tools and then our tools shape us", and from this statement I learned yet another of life's many lessons. While we are each our own individuals, we all hold our own perspective or understanding of the events we face after the object or words in question are filtered through our interpersonal understanding. For some, McLuhan's quote may come across as complete and utter non-sense, but from my own personal lense I found myself shaken with the realization that we are what we choose to face. Above is a still of Robert Williams' piece entitiled Symbolic Mediocrity, mediocrity itself being defined commonly as the quality or state of being mediocre, and at times I feel as though this were a direct definition of myself. Each day I happily admit that I myself am not a perfect individual, I am by no means society's understanding of who a "normal 22 year old" should look like. I wake up questioning the world itself and have a difficulty focusing on day to day tasks, while still managing to get them done and consistantly asking for more to be placed in my workload and then I ask myself, "why can't I just care about my hair" or put more frankly "why dont I give a shit about the day to day drama, rather than my utter existence introspectivly obsessively?". News flash : everyone has these thoughts, just with a different lense. My issue is I see the world from a fourth dimensional understanding. I see the patterns, the dynamics, the insecurities of the world because I've trained myself to recognize these things about myself alone, in the hopes to understand and overcome. I personally believe there will come a time in each person's life where they are forced to view the world the same as I, but it takes a great deal of determination to understand both ends of life's joyous spectrum. While the earth holds good, it holds an equal amount of bad; giving both balance and trial. But what many of us fail to understand is that that is the balance of life itself and by overcoming each challenge we are given a new opportunity for intrespect and understanding of the journey we are on. What we face is reflected within ourselves, and then we present that image to the world, an audience with absolutely no understanding because they are facing life through their own perspective and each of us is left feeling like we are utterly alone. But the most important lesson I could relay to you is the importance of finding those able to understand your screen so to speak. I spent so long attempting to change my view in order to better relate to those I was facing, and that was a grave disjustice to myself. I am strong and intelligent, funny and incredibly kind - in my own way. While I choose not to mirror myself many will find me to be different than most, and there are two aspects to this perception. There is the half that understands the qualities I admire in myself, and many have seen the challenges I have faced. While the other half just stares empty minded, as if I were a work of art they have no ability to comprehend so they sell me short of my true value. I am learning that both perspectives are normal and entirely expected. When you choose to be nothing but yourself you scare those who are unable to do the same, they fear the vulnerability that comes along with opening theirselves up to the world, they're afraid they're going to get hurt. Pain is a natural part of life, we all face it but I actively choose not to let that overpower who I am. I happily, and sometimes unhappily, will openly express what I have faced and how that has made me who I am, because this is my journey and I refuse to filter it. I urge you to do the same. The world will kill you anyway, why not spend your days as yourself, rather than simply what the world would like to see.